RIGHTS OF THE WIDOWS

RIGHTS OF THE WIDOWS

The female gender is specie created by God. She is a perfection of God’s creativity displaying the beautiful and sensitive part of God, a help-meet to man, the wisdom of a man, a being of positive influence, the least are endless, but over the years, the place and position of the woman has been swept under the carpet.

Culture and traditional beliefs has not favourable to the womenfolk and I asked myself, where is the saying that “the hands that rocks the cradle rules the world” when a woman’s place in our society is hardly recognized and celebrated.

Where will you put the widow in a society when women are been trodden upon. Widows are stigmatized. Widowhood is not a destiny path designed for a particular group of persons neither is widowhood a pay packet for wicked women. Death is a call every human must answer as mortals, male or female.

Why then does our society criticize and discriminate against these women and treat them like outcasts, they are accuse of killing their husbands even in the midst of the pain of losing a loved one and most are even driven out of their late husband’s house to cater for their children all alone.

In this part of the world where I come from, the moment a man breathes his last breathe, the wife is first accused of killing the husband for reasons no one can fathom. No man dies a natural death but a woman’s death is caused by either her unfaithfulness or her wickedness against her husband and I also ask myself why?

The loss of loved one world over usually receives sympathy but in this part of the world where we live and Nigeria to be precise, the death of loved ones evokes criticism, condemnation and victimization. Why? I have constantly asked myself and I came to concluded that it is all a concerted effort by the men folk to discriminate and belittle the female gender. When a man loses his wife, he is given a new amid to compensate his loss and aid his mourning period but the same is not the case when a woman loses her husband.

Culture and traditional beliefs have swept the average woman’s under the carpet that they no longer have a say in the affairs of their life. The average Nigerian woman has no willpower of her own, she cannot make decisions for herself and tragically in the loss of her spouse she is automatically taken several years back beyond civilization.

These groups of women (WIDOW) are accused of killing their husbands, chased out of their matrimonial homes with their children with nothing and made homeless. Nobody cares about these children upkeep and for the unlucky ones education becomes a luxury they can only wish for but never have. In some part of Nigeria, the women are made to sleep with the corpse of their dead husband, some are made to drink the water used to bathe the corpse all to prove their innocence ignoring the health hazards these women are exposed to. In other culture, the women have their hair shaven and beaten in addition to their loss.

Widows in Nigeria, as in many parts of the world, often suffer extreme forms of discrimination that leave them landless, penniless and gravely ill. Among many eastern Nigerian tribes, a widow's hair is scraped, often brutally, from her head and body with a razor blade, making it easy to identify and shun her.

The practice of ritual cleansing obliges a recently widowed woman to sleep with a member of her husband's family or a hired male "cleanser" in order to banish her dead husband's spirit. Throughout Nigeria, widows are evicted from their homes and denied the right to inherit their husband's property. Others are themselves inherited as property by their husband's family, and forced into marrying an in-law.

No woman that falls in love with a man, marries the man and hopes to spend her entire life with the man will turn round to kill the man. No woman treasures to become a widow at the early stage of marriage. Is it not enough loss to lose a loved one? Does victimization follow the loss? The questions are endless but I only want to offer my little iota of solution.

In the quest to proffer solution to these looming problems, we must not forget the role of education – knowledge –rights. The girl child in most family suffer in the aspect of education as she is most always said to end up in a man’s house so no need for education. In life, no knowledge acquired is lost; the female gender should try as much as possible to be equipped educationally as this will help us know our rights constitutionally.

Another most effective method of enlightenment is through the internet. This can be done by creating communities within the net deliberating on matters as it concerns women empowerment. Women really have to wake up t their responsibility and calling. The rights of the average Nigerian woman has be trodden upon and only the women can fight for their rights.

Below is a bill that has been past for endorsement in a state in Nigeria for the rights of the widow

(1) "No person for whatever purpose or reason shall compel a widow/widower as follows:

(a) to permit the hairs on the head or any other part of the body to be shaved;

(b) to sleep either alone or on the some bed or be locked in a room with corpse of the husband

(c) not to receive condolence visits from sympathisers during the period of mourning

(d) to be re-married by a relative of the late husband

(e) to sit on the floor or be naked during any period of the husband's/ burial rite

(f) to drink the water used in washing the corpse of the husband/

(g) to weep and wail loudly at intervals at any time after the death of the husband/ except at ones own volition or involuntary action;

(h) to remain in confinement after the death of the husband for any given period;

(i) to vacate the matrimonial home;

(j) to do any other thing which contravenes the fundamental rights entrenched in the Constitution or is degrading the person.

(2) A widow shall not be dispossessed upon the death of the husband of any property acquired by the deceased husband/wife (during the deceased husband's/wife's life time) without his/her consent.

PENALTY: It shall be unlawful for any widow/widower or any person to falsely allege that the rights guaranteed under this law have been violated

JURISDICTION: Anybody who contravenes, conspires, aids, counsels, procures, or assists another person to contravene the provisions of this Law shall be guilty of an offense and liable on conviction to a fine N5,000 (Five thousand naira) or two years imprisonment or both

Women have to stand up for enlightenment, strive for their own life (I mean have a say in their affairs. Women should make sure their husbands writes a will no matter the age as death has no age limit and the wives and children should be a main benefactor of the will.

But in all, the widow should be determined to surmount whatever problems you may face from your in-laws, and society if not for anything but for their children.

The list are endless.